The Kid whose Mum Wouldn’t Die

why does your mum have a walker? How come your mum still wears hats? Isn’t your mum better yet?
It is bloody hard to be a child who has a sick parent. My kids have lived with this for about 5 years. My youngest was 8 when she found out her mum had a brain tumour. That’s okay we will get through it. At school they prayed. Mum still worked mum had lots of pills to take
Mum really changed mum had to stop doing sports. Mum had to stop doing a lot of things. Mum put on a lot of weight because of the medications.
Why is your mum so fat? I thought when you had cancer you went skinny? How does a kid answer these questions? The older kids had different issues. If they had no problems at first. Then some bright spark decided I needed to have Chemo. Now the Chemotherapy wasn’t for the tumour it was for the side effects of the tumour. Then things changed a little. If you were late with an assignment one teacher would be totally overboard with that’s alright dearie I know you are going through a lot, we’ll just let it go. Others would be…You had time to do it, its not like you were doing the surgery.
People just don’t know how to act to kids who are facing this. IF the child had cancer it would be understandable but its not. Its a child who is facing something just as bad. a Child who has to help get their mum out of bed. Help mum shower. Help mum do somany things and who do they turn to who understands what they are going through?
My little one hated coming home because it wasn’t home it was a horrible place she couldn’t do anything it was depressing. She had no one to turn to. Sure lots of people say they are there for you. they offer help but how does this work for the kid. The child who just wants to be normal. Who wants to be them. no the kid whose mum won’t die.
They all rally around when it is really bad and wait for the news the parent has passed away. but then when they don’t (I didn’t) it goes by the wayside. Its a case of oh she didn’t die? all must be well. How can she be still sick. It sucks to be 13 and have to tell a teacher that the time you had off was for illness. Yes mum is still alive, yes she is well but mum is terminal. So I don’t feel like celebrating or cheering up just to make you feel better.
Life sucks when you have a sick mum. Teachers constantly ring home asking about things. A didn’t hand in an assignment is everything alright? A was talking to much in class is it appropriate if I move her, or would that take away her support system.
My other daughter was a high achiever and involved in everything won awards did allsorts of things for the school community. In one year she didn’t get an award that she wanted, but after the shock of not getting it. she then said maybe its a good thing she didn’t, because she didn’t want others to say she only got it because her mum was dying

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About proudblacksista

An Aboriginal woman. mother of 4 diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour 7 years ago.I want to share my story to help others. I am working to help other Aboriginal people face the battles of Cancer. Email me with your stories or concerns at aboriginalcancer.com View all posts by proudblacksista

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