November brings mixed emotions. On the first, its my bear’s birthday, my long-awaited and anticipated baby. He has survived 20 years on this earth despite the parents he was given.
He is a boy, nay a man who has had to face his own demons. He has grown up in a house full of females and had to stand by helplessly as his beloved pop died slowly. He has taken care of his sisters. He is the man of the house.
Last year when I was too ill he took on the parental responsibilities. He manned up and held the fort he was there to sign the notes for school, to sort out the problems. He was there when I was so ill I couldn’t walk. He has literally picked me up when I was down. He had to watch over me at night. He stood there when I was revived, he pulled me back from death.
For all this I am a nagging mum, he feels he can never satisfy me. But yet I have nothing but great love and respect for him. He and I have been through some hard times together but at the end we work it out…well kinda! It’s a work in progress.
My Da would be proud of him. Today is my Da’s birthday and I miss him. I think I take after him more than my mum. My mother was very loving, caring and didn’t swear, yell or all the stuff that I do. My da was the grumpy one. He grumbled all the time, but he was a man of his word. He was honest and forthright. But also he would be there if you needed him. He would help anyone. O sure he’d complain about it but he did it. He as did my mother believe that you help those less fortunate than yourself. You be there when some one needs a hand, needs some love. He complained but he would still get out of bed in the middle of the night to drive my mother in the lock up because some one called and needed help.
I miss him so much, I know my bear misses his pop I know that his pop didn’t grumble at him half as much as I do. But I guess that’s life. I can only hope that I have done the best and that it was good enough to make my Bear a good human being.