How to cope with a STD

STD, well it’s usually a sexually transmitted disease. I used to look at it as also being a Sexually transmitted debt. You buy things together and you are left with no car but a lot of car repayments. Or worse the house being sold out from under your feet.

But now I look at it as Sexually Transmitted Damage. Yep you know what I am talking about. I have seen it just recently My beautiful dear one, has a new boyfriend. He came for us to give the once over. But he was passive aggressive and chucked a couple of hissy fits that a 4-year-old would be proud of.

Poor fulla had to have pain killers but walks out of the hospital, then demands she take him to another hospital. She has just bought a car with him and he is all up in her grill! (yep I went there). Wanting to go off, to see a mate to get some smokes. He has no license, he lost it, new car insurance hasn’t kicked in yet, and my dear one is the only one on the insurance.

He jumped a cab at my place or had some kind of money that no one knew about to get here.

But what I want to do is to pass on some skills.

1. Listen to that little voice inside your head if it says he’s no good. Well then he is no good.

2. DV isn’t just hitting it can be simple controlling mechanisms that give the person the power. They slowly whittle away at the real you leaving you with low self-esteem and a shattered life.

3. If he rings a lot through the day, maybe he is checking on you, not healthy behaviour.  When hugging you, he smells you, again not good. There is a fine line between cute and future psychotic.

4. If he gets sulky when he doesn’t get his way, he needs a dummy, or his mummy not you.

5.He answers the phones, checks the mail first…look out.

6. Automatically commenting on your male friends and making comments about you liking them or you are sleeping with them is damaging.

6. He rules the roost saying that he owns half that car. You take an axe to the car and say which side yours?

We are taught at a young age to respect we are still trying to break out of the male domination of everything. But until then we have under trained our daughters, sisters and nieces on how to handle this. Because we are told we have to be nice. We have to have a man, a husband.  We also need to teach our boys. We need to teach them respect women, even if it’s a woman who might not respect herself. We need to make sure our sons realise she could be going through something bad and is self harming, self damaging. We need our men to stand up for their daughters. We need to not allow this behaviour. Remember it’s not just punching that is Domestic Violence. Self serving and controlling a person, demeaning comments that’s all Violence. Words leave scars, and actions of controllers leave huge wounds that can take years to deal with.

When My son was watching some of what was happening he was ready to take the guy and beat the crap out of him and beat some respect into him. But what can you do when you are told this is the love of my life. Looking for approval, that she didn’t get. She ended up with a plateful of I need to have a break and re think this relationship. The guy was all gamin sorry, sorry for disrespecting me and his actions. He should have included my dear one in his sorry and to be genuine

You mess with the girls in my family and I will hunt you down and I will take you out, like the dog you are.

I don’t condone violence and have taken a bit of poetic licence in describing what we would have done to the fulla.


About proudblacksista

An Aboriginal woman. mother of 4 diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour 7 years ago.I want to share my story to help others. I am working to help other Aboriginal people face the battles of Cancer. Email me with your stories or concerns at View all posts by proudblacksista

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