Survivor Guilt

I am not Wonder Woman, I am not an inspiration, I am not a hero, I am not a survivor. I am me. Just the woman who wouldn’t die.

I have been told I have survivor guilt, where I feel guilty that I am alive when others have passed on from Brain Tumours or other cancers.

I will accept I am a miracle because with out the intervention of God or what ever higher power there is I wouldn’t be alive. The same with not being able to walk again, well I proved them wrong. I am walking. Sure it was hard yes it was painful but no way in hell was I not going to be able to walk.

There are so many other people out there fighting their own battles. People who are strong and just continue on. They are Heroes, inspirations and people to admire and look up to.

I try my best I struggle with the pain and with my inner demons. I am determined that Cancer is not going to take me yet. I accept that I will die from it. But I am at peace with that. I have lived my life. I just want to stick around long enough for my kids to be grown up and to hold a grandchild.

I don’t like being put into a basket of you can’t do this you can’t do that. You need to sit back and do nothing! Well that ain’t going to happen unless I win lotto then I will sit back with all my friends and family with me on an Island I will own.

But until then, I will just keep on keeping on. I am a phoenix. I arose from the ashes so many times last year and I will keep going. There is a purpose behind it and I have to find out what that purpose or reason is. I have to find my true niche in life so that I can help others to overcome and combat illness in what ever shape or form it comes in.

Thank you

About proudblacksista

An Aboriginal woman. mother of 4 diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour 7 years ago.I want to share my story to help others. I am working to help other Aboriginal people face the battles of Cancer. Email me with your stories or concerns at View all posts by proudblacksista

4 responses to “Survivor Guilt

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