Cancer shouldn’t be shame

I don’t want to talk about this but I have been convinced to talk about it

I had prostate cancer, who wants to talk about that. Its big shame job. I don’t want to talk about it but my wife told me I had to tell Colleen.

I ddn’t want to go for the tests they talk about putting a finger up your bum. But my wife made me go get a check, she said its not different to what she does when she gets women’s stuff done, you know down there and when they get their susu checked.

I went to the doctor and then he called me back and said to bring someone with me. I knew that meant something was wrong. So from what I can remember from the doctor and then the specialist was that it was too far and a I had to get a radical prostatectomy. What does that mean, it meant nothing to me all I saw was my manhood was gone.

Who do you talk to about this? You can’t talk to your mates about it, you can’t talk to the wife or kids about it. They told me to get counselling, but the counselling didn’t seem to work. I would talk about bush tucker and medicines and they would just ignore it or say, don’t use that use what the doctor says. When I talk about my culture and I just wanted to go bush, they wouldn’t let me. I know now that they didn’t understand my need they didn’t understand how we think.

But this left me lost I was lost in the white mans way and no one there to talk to no one who understood what was happening to me and how this affected me.

My fight I did alone, I spoke to some old fellas but didn’t tell them what kind of cancer I had. They gave me the support in a way, they just kept telling me to hold on and to stick around for my family. So I did and I am still here, but I want someone there in the hospitals to talk our language, to talk our way to be there every step of the way to help us find the services. I had to get the kids to take me to appointments or my wife we didn’t know about the community transport stuff. We didn’t know what cancer council does except for send me constant letters wanting money or bequests. This I don’t understand they didn’t do anything for me. Maybe I am ungrateful the money goes to the research but what about the poor broke bastard trying to make ends meet

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About proudblacksista

An Aboriginal woman. mother of 4 diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour 7 years ago.I want to share my story to help others. I am working to help other Aboriginal people face the battles of Cancer. Email me with your stories or concerns at aboriginalcancer.com View all posts by proudblacksista

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