Cancer the Heartbreak Hotel

I’m a bloke I have cancer, it’s a skin cancer, I surf and go out to the beach a lot never put on sunscreen as I am a black fella so didn’t think I needed it.

When I went to the hospital to get it cut out they all treated me like I was an exhibition in the zoo, everyone had to come in and look at the black who had a melanoma. They seemed more interested in talking about it and sharing it than talking to me.

I had the thing cut out of my arm, it was small, that’s what I thought, but it was bigger underneath. So it was a bigger surgery than I expected.

I couldn’t work for a while and had to have someone with me to help me dress cook and even go to the toilet. My girlfriend and family helped me with this. I thought I was alright and that it wasn’t too big a deal.

I seemed to have recovered and then they talk of taking medications which I didn’t understand what they would do, it was to stop it from coming back or something. I had this cream to put on other spots I had. I had to get mole checks and someone checking area’s I couldn’t see.

I was fine and then they told me there was still some cancer left in my arm and I needed more surgery. This time I had no time left at work to use and my boss was pretty cool and let me work as I could. So I only got paid when I worked. The surgery was done and I lost aa big part of my arm. So worrying about dressing and pissing were the last thing on my mind. I couldn’t use my arm and Had to have someone dress me and help me piss and wipe my arse.

My girlfriend stuck by me through all of this event though I told her to leave. I drank too much and didn’t really care. All I knew was that I could never use my arm again properly. I couldn’t surf and what was the point of life if I had to live it everyday with someone helping me. I tried to get the disability pension but couldn’t I am on sickness benefits and they assess me every couple of months. But whats the point. I am not going to be able to work properly ever again, so why not let me get disability.

I go to physio when I am told to but that runs its course and then I have to wait to be referred again and this they say holds up progress. So how can I get better when the medical system doesn’t take me seriously or Centrelink.

I have tried to kill myself a couple of times I don’t know if I am a failure at that or if my girlfriend is right, that its just not my time. But I can tell you that its fucked going through this and when people ask to tell your story, its not a story it’s a nightmare. I have no idea of the assistance out there that people at the hospital talk about they talk about it but never give me numbers or call in these helpers.

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About proudblacksista

An Aboriginal woman. mother of 4 diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour 7 years ago.I want to share my story to help others. I am working to help other Aboriginal people face the battles of Cancer. Email me with your stories or concerns at aboriginalcancer.com View all posts by proudblacksista

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