How do you help someone who won’t help themselves

As you know I have some one staying in my house because of DV issues. We have taken her and the kids in. We love them like family. But the problem is that this woman is not the one we know and love. This is a woman who is wasted on drugs and has had far too much alcohol in her life.

We are trying to get her to stand up on her own two feet that’s a problem, she is always whingeing and whining that she is unwell. She watches the laptop constantly and doesn’t attend appointments unless we physically take her, otherwise its just too hard, too far to walk, I don’t know which bus to catch.

She gets up late the kids are never on time at school unless we do. I am trying to cut back on doing for her, but she doesn’t seem to get it. That it’s time for her to put on her big girl pants and start doing the right thing by herself and her kids.

The kids constantly have accidents and wet their beds, they are too old for this, but unless I make the mother bring out the wet things they won’t get washed. I have to wash everything in a healthy dose of bleach, to ensure all the germs are gone. I have low immunity and I am cleaning up another persons children because she won’t do it. or she will do it once she has finished watching whatever episode of whatever shit it is she is watching.

Motherhood is a gift and it is wasted on this woman. She is so far gone and so far from the person I used to know that I know Child services will intervene and that will be good, for the children.

The children have yet to face the issues of being hurt by her ex partner and She tells the children, nay she trains the children in what to say to Child services, this makes it harder, when they see and know there are problems. But the mother is more concerned about herself and making sure she doesn’t get any blame that she is ruining her children further.

These kids are lovely and it breaks my heart being with them, especially when one of them told me to tell her that I loved her like I told my daughter before she went off to school. So I did. She then tells me that mummy never says she loves her. Heartbreaking really. But all I can do is be there for these kids and hope they will get justice despite their mothers interference.


About proudblacksista

An Aboriginal woman. mother of 4 diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour 7 years ago.I want to share my story to help others. I am working to help other Aboriginal people face the battles of Cancer. Email me with your stories or concerns at View all posts by proudblacksista

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