Well it’s been a fun few weeks, between being ill with a viral infection and awaiting what was going to happen with my jaw. So the result is I have a cancer, but luckily it’s benign. That was great I was happy, then the doctor had to keep talking. He wants me to get it removed, because this kind of cancer will become malignant within about 5-10 years. That’s better odds than my brain tumour. But I told him no, I am not going to get it removed.
I guess you would be wondering why I won’t. Well the simple reason being that with the treatment I have had, it really knocked me around. I had cushings from the medications and Lupus. I had due to weakened bones fractures in my spine and hips with the prognosis of that being I would never walk again (but I am walking). I had a blood clot that caused a pulmonary embolism. I spent nearly a year in hospital with this. Now I am getting back to myself again. Getting healthy and regaining my strength and confidence. I am not going to put my health at risk again.
I think that if I deal with this in a few years, my body will be able to stand up to the treatment, which it honestly wouldn’t at the moment. This decision lead to the Doctor dare I say harassing me and specialist also, telling me that I should have it removed and get some therapy at the same time, at this point they are not sure if it would be Chemo or Radiotherapy. I had to stand my ground. I really felt overwhelmed with the constant non acceptance of my answer, it’s not their life, but mine. They even agreed with me that doing this would cause a huge burden on my body, yet they insisted and insisted. Constant calls for me to come in and talk. What happened to my right to decide on what happens to my body.
No medical professional should force someone into doing something they don’t want to do and that they have an option on. I went through hell previously with three rounds of Chemo that made me so ill. Years of being on strong steroids for the brain tumour that caused me to double my body weight. I followed what the doctors said, yet they were the ones who missed the blood clot in my leg, telling me that it was water retention. They missed all the indicators as to my deteriorating health caused by the medications and then the chemo.
I am not making a blind decision, I am making an informed decision, knowing what the state of my body is and ironically they agreed that it would take a very big toll on my body, but yet they still want me to have treatment. If it was a case of just cutting out the bone, I would do it. But having to do other treatment as well is not what I am up to. My right as a patient and the boss of my own body should be paramount with the medical profession. When anybody makes an informed decision it should be respected and not overlooked by a doctor who thinks they know better than you do.
After all this, when I had to get the area checked, well they found out they had actually fractured three teeth around the area. Now They removed one tooth, which I was grateful for, I don’t want to go around with big holes in my mouth. I had enough of my teeth chipping and fracturing from the chemo. So now I am going to have three extra teeth removed because the fractures are too close to the gum line and will if not removed start to fall off leaving stumps in the gums. Now I would have liked them to say well we will give you four false teeth and do that screw in the gum teeth, but off course not. I will have to come up with the money to get some teeth to fill in the gaps. Not really fair that, but even going in the public health system they will not replace those teeth unless they take out all my teeth and I will have false teeth, that is not a step I am ready for. I am glad that at 50 I still have most of my teeth. I don’t want to wake up in the morning with my teeth smiling at me from a glass at my bedside. But what’s a girl to do.
So signing off, the future gummy bear.