Pain pain go away, come again another day

I have been having a hard time lately with pain. My back is killing me and some days I am back to using the walking stick.

As we know and it’s our little secret that I am walking when it was thought that I would never walk again. But I have done some silly things like, digging up the garden after the rain, while the ground was soft. Having to take a long walk when my car decided to have a hissy fit, but these things are happening to close together, that I am not giving myself enough time between incidents to heal. It is hard to take pain killers and rest when you have to get kids to and from places, do things around the house and go off to studies. But I guess that’s the pay off for all that has happened and still being here.

I had to get some x-rays and scans on the back and hips and the prognosis is looking kind of good, while the fractures have all finally healed the slipped discs are playing having and bulging all over the place, bit like the rest of my body really. But I don’t understand why the automatic response from the medical profession is always intervention? I get that intervention is great, but in my case not so. I don’t need to be told that maybe I might need surgery for my back. Yep I am being pig-headed again. But unless they can give me better outcomes and not just a hmm it might help. I am not going to do it. If they said surgery would do so much, we will replace your bones with adamantium which will give you no pain and will keep you upright for the next fifty years.

But no, they tell me that I am not wolverine, like I didn’t know, hell my body doesn’t repair itself. But really I just want something that will replace the bones that are degenerating and not have pussyfooting around about how they can’t do too much because of the fragility of my bones. Well then just don’t talk about it. End of story. I don’t want a false hope, I don’t want to have a surgery that if it doesn’t work will have me in a wheel chair sooner. Just leave me alone with my walker to hobble along. I am not ungrateful for this assistance, I just don’t think I need to deal with it. I don’t want to have more worries, heaven knows I have enough of them. But until something happens I am going to take it really easy for the next week or so and make sure I mend.

Thank you

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About proudblacksista

An Aboriginal woman. mother of 4 diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour 7 years ago.I want to share my story to help others. I am working to help other Aboriginal people face the battles of Cancer. Email me with your stories or concerns at aboriginalcancer.com View all posts by proudblacksista

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