It’s just so unfair.

I have railed against God and the universe about my cancer. I have to at times remind myself that things happen for a reason, it might not be our, but it is in God’s plan. But then something happens that makes me re think the injustice of it all.

I get upset over children with cancer. I guess we all do, we don’t like to see the young suffer and be taken before their time. We don’t like it when a teenager or young adult has to suffer. But why does it continue to happen?

I was talking to a friend of mine, at what should be a happy time for her, she is expecting a baby, she has found out that she has breast cancer. So while she is pregnant she has to look at the treatment options, decide if she wants to have them or not.

She was advised that the sooner she starts treatment, the better the outcome. That seems reasonable and fine. Then she has to discuss the effects treatment will have on her unborn baby. Naturally the treatment, will not be good for the baby. The prospect of the surgery is bad enough, then the medications means that she will not be able to nurse baby or breast feed.

If she goes for the full treatment, she is looking at Chemotherapy, which is according to her doctor lower risk that had been thought, but she will also have to do the radiation treatment, which causes birth defects, still births and loss of the baby.

These are really shit options to think about and I really feel so angry and hurt for her. Why has this happened to her? She has never smoked, she exercises, eats well, yet she is being forced to deal with the most horrendous existence possible for a fetus. But as a person she is going to have to deal with the hell of treatment at a time when the body should be making the most of its energy on making a baby.

My wonderful friend has been talking to people, reading everything she can to find out as much information as possible to make this decision.  She wants to keep her baby, have a pregnancy and then deal with the cancer afterwards. She wants to be a mum and enjoy it. I can understand that. I can also understand the fear that she has of not doing the treatment, and not being around to watch her child grow.

I pray for her and the unborn baby, I pray that she doesn’t have to go through this. I pray that what decision she makes, she can live with it. It is a hard choice and hard thing to face, to potentially kill or harm your child, or not be around and at the extreme end to not be able to survive long enough to give birth.


About proudblacksista

An Aboriginal woman. mother of 4 diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour 7 years ago.I want to share my story to help others. I am working to help other Aboriginal people face the battles of Cancer. Email me with your stories or concerns at View all posts by proudblacksista

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