Monthly Archives: March 2016

A letter to White Women

Dear White Woman,

I cannot hold your hand and make you feel better for the past. I have been to so many events and have watched you cry, you come to us and cry, so that we, the victims have to make YOU feel better. Do you not realize how insensitive this is? Do you not feel awkward as you ask my elders to make you feel better? To tell you it’s all right? To tell you we don’t blame you all?

Why do you continue to push your privilege and power in our faces? You come to events or to training to show that you care, to understand and learn the true history. But to me your extended hand of friendship is only about making yourself feel better. And on this note, please don’t tell me that you have suffered reverse racism when you went to a cultural awareness training, and that you didn’t get anything out of it, as you felt attacked. Lady Welcome To My World.

Dear White Woman,

Don’t expect me to join in your jokes, when you say some one of my race is a racist and that you are not black enough. You are making a mockery of all the hatred we have suffered and still suffer. You will never know what it really means to be on the other end of a racial attack. You will never know what it means to hope that your race isn’t an issue when you go for a job, fancy restaurant ( hell even a lot of dodgy ones), when the police walk by. You will never know what its like to not get a house, a loan a decent education because of your race.

You look at me blankly and say it was just in fun. Fun! this is not fun to face hatred everyday, to know that you are looked down upon in your own land, to be treated differently even after all the struggles from the parents and grandparents before us. As I simmer away, don’t mutter under your breath, that I have no sense of humor and that you thought that I of all people would have seen the humor in it.

You then tell me that it is unfair that some one has given funding for a project to want an Aboriginal person to do it. Then change course and say that they haven’t the right information to want an Aboriginal person, there are none trained in this area. I shake my head and keep my thoughts inside, and think of 2 Aboriginal people who immediately spring to mind who have the qualifications. I know that this is all about jobs for the boys, yep keep these people on at the expense of Aboriginal funding. I have seen it before, and then when the project isn’t completed, it’s always just because it’s an Aboriginal project, not because the money went on wages for people to work on other projects.

Dear White Woman,

Please don’t despair about the problems on the Aboriginal Communities, and tell me all about your ideas on moving people to new places for a new start. When you understand really what is going on, then maybe offer an opinion. Don’t tell me all about your friend the sociology major, who spent 6 weeks in the cape, and how she knows first hand all about it and agrees with your ideas.

Don’t talk about how some of the problems really should have been sorted now, and that if we all were willing to get help that the government offered, it would solve the problems just like that. I don’t want to hear you talk about how you have worked in other countries and have seen first hand what is happening over there. I don’t want to know how this will help us. If you really were so genuine, why aren’t you working with us?


Dear White Woman,

At the risk of being rude please keep your Gurramul  CD’s to yourself. I don’t want to break such beautiful music over your head, but I will. Don’t play it just for me, and then ask my why I don’t like him, when I roll my eyes, don’t assume the eye rolling is for him. While I’m at it, I don’t like it when a panel of white people talk about my mob, they have no idea and its so rude, would I do that to you? But yes I don’t want you sharing with me, every discussion you hear on the media, and share with me the wisdom of some White middle class person.

I don’t want to be mean to you, and I like that you are trying. but really, just talk and ask us what we think. Don’t think you understand us or even know what we have been through. Listen deeply to our Elders, to know the past, then you might see the problems that we face, and how the issues of the past, haven’t escaped us yet. We can’t just shake your hand and say, you are forgiven lets move on, when your own kind won’t let us. Yes it’s you who refuse to see whats come before and stop us moving on. So stop telling us that we are living in the past.





This is a 241. you get 2 stories for the price of 1. Me and my sister both had breast cancer. She had private health cover and i didn’t. She got it first and she was lucky she had chemotherapy then surgery then radition treatment. She is now a lot better. I got it next everyone said that I would be in trouble because I went public. I was told I would be waiting for years for surgery and that I should try to go private. I got into the hospital in three week and had my treatment. I found that there was no difference between the time of me and my sister in getting treatment. I was happy that I didn’t have to wait and that all the stories I heard were wrong. The doctor I had in the hospital was different to my sisters doctor. But my doctor asked a lot of questions about my family and what our medical background was. I found out because of him that my mum who died when I was a kid died of breast cancer. We just knew she died and took our dads word on it that nothing could be done. We never questioned. We should have. My aunt, who is my mum’s siter died 10 years ago from breast cancer. Her daughter, my cousin died of the same thing 8 years ago. We thought it was just in my aunts family. We didn’t know to check,, we didn’t even know that you can do a mdical history of your family to see if you have a higher chance of getting breast cancer. We had to go and get my mums death certificate because my dad wouldn’t give it to us. It was too hard on him to talk about it. If he spoke about it, my sister and I could have found out sooner. When people talk about prevention, they should talk about your back ground they should talk about medical history. because of what the doctor did my sister and I could help our kids and our neices to make sure they check out any lump that they keep an eye on them susu’s


Cancer, is the gift that just keeps on giving. or maybe saying its like Father Christmas is more appropriate, the memory lingers on way after the magic has finished.

No matter how good a doctor or how good an experience, you can never be fully aware of everything. The medical profession do not have the time to go through every little detail of what might or might not happen.

I found myself in the situation this week of my leg swelling up, it was painful and I had to spend a day elevating it. I wanted this checked out straight away. I had a clot in the other leg and wanted to rule out that anything like a clot, or DVT was in my leg. The first doctor that I went to ask about this, just looked at it and said that the chances are high that I had lymphoedema, that was it, end of consultation.

Lymphedema (lymphoedema in British English), also known as lymphatic obstruction, is a condition of localized fluid retention and tissue swelling caused by a compromised lymphatic system, which normally returns interstitial fluid to the thoracic duct and then the bloodstream.

I wasn’t happy with the not looking at the leg so I check with my GP, the GP sent me to get a Doppler ultra sound. I was glad of that. She also checked the pressure on my leg, and she also said there was a good chance that it was lymphoedema, but given my history it is better to check. (lymphodema hit the blood clot in my leg. All the swelling and pain was put down to the fluid retention)

 A Doppler ultrasound is a test that uses high frequency sound waves (ultrasound) to measure the amount of blood flow through your arteries and veins, usually those that supply blood to your arms and legs. Vascular flow studies, also known as blood flow studies, can detect abnormal flow within an artery or blood vessel.

I was lucky that it appears to be just major fluid retention, I was never told that I could be affected by this a couple of years later. My GP had to tell me, she also told me that it could flare up. Some help for it http://

I was told there are support groups for this, so I am going to one to find out what we can do to help each other.


The Australasian Lymphology Association –