A letter to White Women

Dear White Woman,

I cannot hold your hand and make you feel better for the past. I have been to so many events and have watched you cry, you come to us and cry, so that we, the victims have to make YOU feel better. Do you not realize how insensitive this is? Do you not feel awkward as you ask my elders to make you feel better? To tell you it’s all right? To tell you we don’t blame you all?

Why do you continue to push your privilege and power in our faces? You come to events or to training to show that you care, to understand and learn the true history. But to me your extended hand of friendship is only about making yourself feel better. And on this note, please don’t tell me that you have suffered reverse racism when you went to a cultural awareness training, and that you didn’t get anything out of it, as you felt attacked. Lady Welcome To My World.

Dear White Woman,

Don’t expect me to join in your jokes, when you say some one of my race is a racist and that you are not black enough. You are making a mockery of all the hatred we have suffered and still suffer. You will never know what it really means to be on the other end of a racial attack. You will never know what it means to hope that your race isn’t an issue when you go for a job, fancy restaurant ( hell even a lot of dodgy ones), when the police walk by. You will never know what its like to not get a house, a loan a decent education because of your race.

You look at me blankly and say it was just in fun. Fun! this is not fun to face hatred everyday, to know that you are looked down upon in your own land, to be treated differently even after all the struggles from the parents and grandparents before us. As I simmer away, don’t mutter under your breath, that I have no sense of humor and that you thought that I of all people would have seen the humor in it.

You then tell me that it is unfair that some one has given funding for a project to want an Aboriginal person to do it. Then change course and say that they haven’t the right information to want an Aboriginal person, there are none trained in this area. I shake my head and keep my thoughts inside, and think of 2 Aboriginal people who immediately spring to mind who have the qualifications. I know that this is all about jobs for the boys, yep keep these people on at the expense of Aboriginal funding. I have seen it before, and then when the project isn’t completed, it’s always just because it’s an Aboriginal project, not because the money went on wages for people to work on other projects.

Dear White Woman,

Please don’t despair about the problems on the Aboriginal Communities, and tell me all about your ideas on moving people to new places for a new start. When you understand really what is going on, then maybe offer an opinion. Don’t tell me all about your friend the sociology major, who spent 6 weeks in the cape, and how she knows first hand all about it and agrees with your ideas.

Don’t talk about how some of the problems really should have been sorted now, and that if we all were willing to get help that the government offered, it would solve the problems just like that. I don’t want to hear you talk about how you have worked in other countries and have seen first hand what is happening over there. I don’t want to know how this will help us. If you really were so genuine, why aren’t you working with us?


Dear White Woman,

At the risk of being rude please keep your Gurramul  CD’s to yourself. I don’t want to break such beautiful music over your head, but I will. Don’t play it just for me, and then ask my why I don’t like him, when I roll my eyes, don’t assume the eye rolling is for him. While I’m at it, I don’t like it when a panel of white people talk about my mob, they have no idea and its so rude, would I do that to you? But yes I don’t want you sharing with me, every discussion you hear on the media, and share with me the wisdom of some White middle class person.

I don’t want to be mean to you, and I like that you are trying. but really, just talk and ask us what we think. Don’t think you understand us or even know what we have been through. Listen deeply to our Elders, to know the past, then you might see the problems that we face, and how the issues of the past, haven’t escaped us yet. We can’t just shake your hand and say, you are forgiven lets move on, when your own kind won’t let us. Yes it’s you who refuse to see whats come before and stop us moving on. So stop telling us that we are living in the past.





About proudblacksista

An Aboriginal woman. mother of 4 diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour 7 years ago.I want to share my story to help others. I am working to help other Aboriginal people face the battles of Cancer. Email me with your stories or concerns at aboriginalcancer.com View all posts by proudblacksista

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