I have times where I make absolutely no sense what so ever. I forget the words I need to use and forget who I am talking with.
Sure, I’m very capable of many things, but sometimes the brain doesn’t work the way it should be working. I live with the pain in my head and pain in my body from the damage done by previous treatments. But I try to keep going, I have to. I also have to remember how lucky I am to still be alive, when I should not be.
I was talking to a lovely lady on the phone today, she called me because she wanted to talk about her cancer journey. She was feeling down, she thought she had beat the breast cancer she had, but it seems to be back. She wanted someone to talk with and to cry with. This woman, who I didn’t know, who rang to talk, turned my day around, sometimes it just takes one little thing to make things better.
We talked about how she was feeling, how her family were coping and what she felt were her options. She cried as she talked about her grannies, growing up without her, and what she was going to do to make sure she was a part of their lives after she was gone. I offered some ideas, and that’s when it all went wrong. The words came out wrong, in fact they came out with words that didn’t fit in with what I was saying. I was mortified, she laughed.
I explained that sometimes the words come out wrong, then she told me not to bother about it.
She and I both laughed when I mixed up more words and explained why. She said, “Who cares if you don’t always make sense, even arse up, you make more sense than that lot in Canberra”. She made me realise that it’s not as bad as I think it is.
This woman who needed comfort, comforted me, she joked, telling me that she wished she could forget some people. We laughed and I felt so much better.
I’m grateful that I’m still here and grateful that I can help other people facing cancer, and who cares if I don’t always make sense, at least you can understand that I care.